I am very glad that I got to do those pictures for Holly.  They are just in love with them! It is mostly to do with how in love they are with their son :) but, they feel so grateful for the pictures.  They are ordering a copy of everything I gave them and several 10x14. It was evident during the shoot, how much they are enamored with their little guy.  Sweet.  They mentioned that the only photos they have of him are on an iphone.  I know they don't have a lot of money.  I love that at this stage of my photography journey I can justify not charging people! It is such a blessing to be able to give something like this.  I would love to capture those lovely moments for people even if I was charging :) That's one level.  But, providing it to someone who wouldn't be able to get it otherwise hits down to my roots :) and it an extra measure of blessing to me.

Last week, the kids and I were leaving the driveway, headed to art class for Jacob.  I ran back in the house and grabbed my camera.  It was rainy/misty and I was thinking about those wonderful, glorious willow trees on Dusty Lane.  I pulled over on the way to class to snap a couple pictures.  Of course I lose all sense of time and reason when I have my camera so it turned into more than a couple minutes and I had to apologize to Jacob for making him late. :) I also got busted! Jesse drove by and saw my traipsing along in the rain and knee high grasses, climbing up on the fence with my camera in hand and my car full of kids about 30 feet away! haha!  He can't understand what I was doing! :)  Well, I have wanted  a picture of those willow trees for several years.  I look at them and they are so perfect.  It's like....a magical place where dreams take root and secrets are shared.  When it is windy outside, the leaves make this amazing shhhing sound.  I don't know. I like them.  The leaves will fall soon, so I am glad I tried to get a shot- though I haven't uploaded or edited yet to see if I got anything worthwhile.

My friend also told me about a photo opp at Fox Grove with lily pads.  I am going to try to head out there later this morning before I pick the kids up. 

I definitely feel like I have turned a corner here.  I have been contemplating on how great it feels to be in this place.  Restored for the time being.  Had I never gone through the bad season (oh, how paltry the word "bad" seems in this use- so understated)-- but anyway, had I never gone through the hard times, there's no way I could feel such love and tender gratitude to the Lord for healing and restoring.  It's not like everything is hunky dory.  There are still moments of grief each day, and some days, all day.  But, I'm not crippled with it right now.  I am fully aware that this could be a short season.  Even still, I am thankful.  Incredibly grateful for right now- where things are steady in a pattern of our "new normal." Where I have had time to adjust and process.  Where I have come through so many hard things by the outpouring of God's protection and grace and goodness. Where my mind has gone forward in time to wrestle through my fears and vulnerable places, and has now found a place to rest in the Lord with all the unknowns surrounding.  I don't allow myself to contemplate the future too much anymore and don't really feel the need.  The Lord is with me. Near to me.  And if there was a cloak over all of it, I would say it is a resounding, "His grace is sufficient for me."  It just is.  Has been. Will be.

And, photography ties in here- He has given it back a little bit.  But, it has been such a giving back rather than me taking it back and it feels different than before.  I always wanted it to be an offering to Him, but now it's so obviously a gift from Him to me that worship through it is seemingly inevitable. Maybe that sounds confusing. :) I just know that there is a peace that surrounds me now.  I don't have many opportunities but I am ok with the slow pace, ready to receive the gift of the learning and progress as He hands it to me.  Ready to wait if there is no time.  I pray He protects this heart attitude.  Right now, the photography has never been more beautiful.  It is like sweet gifts from the Lord, ministering right into my heart, showing me how He gave it back a little bit and how He put the fragments of my heart back together to a degree that I can keep going.  It brings hope and faith- no matter what comes next, if He can heal and reshape as He did, He can do it again.) Not that I want to go through it again! It's so scary to even contemplate it.  Yet, as I first mentioned, without the bad, the good isn't so vibrant, nor the healing power so evident.

Ok, all for now. Now time to proof read this. Hopefully I will have new images sometime in the near future.

Final pics of Baby F

This is what I gave the parents.. I will post them all because I redid some of the ones I posted earlier.

woohoooo!!!

I have ventured out a couple times this week to post some of my photos on an instagram photography group. Themes are assigned each day. I used older stuff. But today mine got chosen to be featured! ! So exciting! ! Outside of this blog I don't share my work much. Although I know this will be the place I will always be most vulnerable,  I am glad I was brave enough to share beyond these walls.  How fun to be featured!  :)

Screenshot

These look better on my computer! I lowered the resolution for web... Maybe I did too much.

Baby F

The shoot went well. Baby boy was grumpy. They said he is usually always happy.  After a while we were able to grab a few smiling shots.

I really enjoyed myself.  I was very relaxed despite a high stress day.  The parents were also laid back which was helpful.  Plus, cutest baby ever.

My heartbeat has been acting weird for several days now.  But, whether I was distracted from feeling it or whether it was fine- I don't know.  During the shoot, though, I was free from that yucky feeling for a while! By the end I was drenched in sweat, my stuff was scattered as usual all over the place, and I got a grass stain on my favorite shorts.  It was great. :)  The stress of the day melted off my shoulders (maybe literally) and I was just enjoying myself.  Thankful seems an inadequate description of how I feel. :)

I have had too many other things to conquer during this 3 hour block of time with the kids at their special one-Thursday-per-month class- but I did sneak in a quick edit of this one. I think it might be my favorite of the set.

pictures! ! haha

Well, here we go again!  Back in the spring before everything happened I had posted on Facebook that I lost a contact lens. A friend from high school, Holly, said she could get me a free sample from her optometrist dad. She met me at Starbucks a few days later.  (I had not seen her since high school.)  Not wanting to just be a taker :) I told her I would love to return a favor. .the only thing I could think of was photos of her newborn.  Well,  she messaged me on Monday asking if she could take me up on that offer!  He is 7 months old.  Supposed to be shooting tonight at the golden hour.  Hope I can do it!!

Photo shoot was canceled

I got a phone call late last night cancelling the photo shoot for today. She said some family issues came up and she wanted to leave first thing in the morning.. So- we had moved the photo shoot from Saturday to Sunday and now it is cancelled.  I must say, though I was willing to do it and hoping I could pull something off that would be a blessing, I am so relieved. There is just so much to do every day. I'm glad for the extra breathing room.

Tomorrow i am supposed to take some pictures. My friend Wendy had hers up on the wall..her sister saw them and wanted some done of her children. I couldn't say no. Her husband is serving in Africa. I bet he would be blessed by some pictures.

I have no feelings on this.  :) I want to be effective.  I don't have time to sort through a bunch of bad shots. I don't have time to edit much.  I hope i can deliver some simple,  pleasing captures of these little ones.

I'm just like..."ok, Lord. "  In the same way that I have come to expect variables in every single school day, having only made it through ONE school day according to what I have on paper! ! In this same way, my hand is open with this photography stuff as He seems to be bringing it to me-- despite my lack of equipment,  skill, time, and sometimes motivation.

School pictures 2014

Didn't hurt a bit :)

after seeing this on here- prob will re-edit Kate's.  Her face seems too contrasty. I must have messed something up in post-processing.  It was tricky- grass puts some green casts onto the skin tones.  I tried to apply some magenta lightly over the skin to compensate.  One day, I would love to take a color theory/processing class.  

There are several photography opportunities landing my way. My 4-H job is to be FB photographer. I don't plan to invest too much into it- but I will have my camera and will be snapping photos. The second, is a label I plan to make for Christmas gifts. Third, is I just realized it is school picture time again. I HAVE to be able to improve on last year's. I can't even believe I posted those without shame! School packages are pricey- so I plan to do it on my own again.

I don't have any time to apply toward photography right now. But, I'm thankful to The Lord that the thought of these photo opps are not causing any pain right now. So, so thankful. Even if it begins to hurt again, I'm thankful for a reprieve. Thankful for this moment in time where rest abides.