Photography goals right now are:
1) Take a family photo. Maybe this Saturday if schedules line up and I can get clothing and haircuts situated. I have no idea where to go and will be working with my remote/timer again. Should be an adventure! I am guessing we will go to the college in Turlock. That can be so cheesy. But, I hope to make it not so!
2. Complete the last 2 years of photos into an printed album by the end of 2014. Never been so glad to be done with a year! But, I think it's important that I get organized enough to pull all the photographs together and in an album while I can. I hope I can actually do it finally.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Using time
I haven't been able to get back onto the blog, but for many days have felt a bit of a change of heart from that last post. Thank you, Lord.
I was just having a bad attitude again.:) I wish I didn't have to learn and re-learn the same things over and over in my spiritual life! The circumstances haven't changed a whole lot from my last post, but I don't feel so bad. I could list a page full of things that aren't done correctly or needing to be done, and another page of things I wish I could change about my life- yet, I have a bit more peace about it. Figured I better write that down before this fickle heart gets things upside down again! The Lord was good to bring His word to me in several ways over several days to remind me of a proper focus and to trust in Him. The main thing is, we are making it. Who cares if the house is a mess and laundry is piled high. I was reminded that I am making choices with my time. And though for sure I don't always use my time wisely and I sure can be lazy sometimes.....for the most part, I don't regret the choices I have made with my time. The consequences or results can be hard to live with-- just adding chaos to chaos- but it is worth it. I was reminded that I have used time to LIVE for this season, not knowing when life will take its next turn and bring us into a new season. Time has been spent making memories as a family, building relationships with my growing children, celebrating birthdays well and opening our home to create moments for the extended family to share life with us. I expect that after this first year, I might settle down a bit in this drive I seem to have right now...but for now, it seems right. Like, if I do it any other way, I will have regret. It seems right to live as many moments as I can to the fullest because Robert's illness may resurface at any point and life will change. I want to be balanced and I don't want to live in a compulsive type way--but I do want to use this time well. And so, we do a birthday party for each of them full out because Daddy is here and healthy this year and will be on the video recording that way- full of life. And, we fit in as many family outings as possible to get those memories, use that time even though it stretches the budget. I want those storehouses of memories to be filled up and snapshots accumulated. It seems the right time for extracurricular too! I have prayed about what to let go of and I can't come to a conclusion! It all seems good. It all seems like now is the time-as crazy as it is. Choir, guitar, band, art classes, STEM classes, Robotics, Gymnastics, Tae Kwan Do, 4-H, and field trips! I want to pour out as much as I can right now because right now Daddy is going to work everyday. (And most recently, able to drive.) Our future is expected to hold possibly another surgery recovery, chemotherapy, radiation, more seizures, etc. At some point, I might not be able to give a birthday party or have a one on one Barnes and Noble date, or support involvement in a sport or fun activity.
And so- I needed to remind myself that these are the choices I am making for my time. Photography is so far down the list- and even then, I've been able to sneak in a few things. If for 6-9 months the house never feels clean to my standards, then so be it. If for the next year I don't grow at all in my photography pursuit, so be it. However, I do want to do a better job with my health. I want to be taking care of myself with exercise and eating well. That alone, impacts my outlook on things and my stamina. Additionally, I feel this burden? ---not a negative type of burden but I can't think of another way to describe it. Urgency? I feel this urgency to also use this time to grow spiritually. There's this down time. A pseudo-normalcy. I pray that I don't squander this time. I pray so fervently God will give me grace to use this time to grow spiritually and to lead my little family to do the same. I want this time to be built up in my faith, strengthened in spiritual disciplines and habits, and communion with Jesus to be increased. We will need it in the future. I am so weak though. So prone to wander. So apt to use my time on other things and as evident on my blog- so quick to forget to rely upon the Lord's strength and timetable and not my own.
Well, as usual, a nice, concise summary of what is in this head! ;) When did this blog become so touchy feely instead of a place where I just write down what I'm learning anyway?! :) Oh well, it is what it is. I'm sure someday I will just save the whole thing to a disk or print it off and be done with it rather than leaving such a confusing mess of things on a photography blog. But for now- it seems to be the only place I actually take the time to notate this journey. I haven't written a single page in my journal for over 6 months. weird.
I was just having a bad attitude again.:) I wish I didn't have to learn and re-learn the same things over and over in my spiritual life! The circumstances haven't changed a whole lot from my last post, but I don't feel so bad. I could list a page full of things that aren't done correctly or needing to be done, and another page of things I wish I could change about my life- yet, I have a bit more peace about it. Figured I better write that down before this fickle heart gets things upside down again! The Lord was good to bring His word to me in several ways over several days to remind me of a proper focus and to trust in Him. The main thing is, we are making it. Who cares if the house is a mess and laundry is piled high. I was reminded that I am making choices with my time. And though for sure I don't always use my time wisely and I sure can be lazy sometimes.....for the most part, I don't regret the choices I have made with my time. The consequences or results can be hard to live with-- just adding chaos to chaos- but it is worth it. I was reminded that I have used time to LIVE for this season, not knowing when life will take its next turn and bring us into a new season. Time has been spent making memories as a family, building relationships with my growing children, celebrating birthdays well and opening our home to create moments for the extended family to share life with us. I expect that after this first year, I might settle down a bit in this drive I seem to have right now...but for now, it seems right. Like, if I do it any other way, I will have regret. It seems right to live as many moments as I can to the fullest because Robert's illness may resurface at any point and life will change. I want to be balanced and I don't want to live in a compulsive type way--but I do want to use this time well. And so, we do a birthday party for each of them full out because Daddy is here and healthy this year and will be on the video recording that way- full of life. And, we fit in as many family outings as possible to get those memories, use that time even though it stretches the budget. I want those storehouses of memories to be filled up and snapshots accumulated. It seems the right time for extracurricular too! I have prayed about what to let go of and I can't come to a conclusion! It all seems good. It all seems like now is the time-as crazy as it is. Choir, guitar, band, art classes, STEM classes, Robotics, Gymnastics, Tae Kwan Do, 4-H, and field trips! I want to pour out as much as I can right now because right now Daddy is going to work everyday. (And most recently, able to drive.) Our future is expected to hold possibly another surgery recovery, chemotherapy, radiation, more seizures, etc. At some point, I might not be able to give a birthday party or have a one on one Barnes and Noble date, or support involvement in a sport or fun activity.
And so- I needed to remind myself that these are the choices I am making for my time. Photography is so far down the list- and even then, I've been able to sneak in a few things. If for 6-9 months the house never feels clean to my standards, then so be it. If for the next year I don't grow at all in my photography pursuit, so be it. However, I do want to do a better job with my health. I want to be taking care of myself with exercise and eating well. That alone, impacts my outlook on things and my stamina. Additionally, I feel this burden? ---not a negative type of burden but I can't think of another way to describe it. Urgency? I feel this urgency to also use this time to grow spiritually. There's this down time. A pseudo-normalcy. I pray that I don't squander this time. I pray so fervently God will give me grace to use this time to grow spiritually and to lead my little family to do the same. I want this time to be built up in my faith, strengthened in spiritual disciplines and habits, and communion with Jesus to be increased. We will need it in the future. I am so weak though. So prone to wander. So apt to use my time on other things and as evident on my blog- so quick to forget to rely upon the Lord's strength and timetable and not my own.
Well, as usual, a nice, concise summary of what is in this head! ;) When did this blog become so touchy feely instead of a place where I just write down what I'm learning anyway?! :) Oh well, it is what it is. I'm sure someday I will just save the whole thing to a disk or print it off and be done with it rather than leaving such a confusing mess of things on a photography blog. But for now- it seems to be the only place I actually take the time to notate this journey. I haven't written a single page in my journal for over 6 months. weird.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
nothing new
I have pictures on my camera that are unedited. More of the willow trees. More of Kate in the grassy field. I just don't have time. Maybe I am feeling a little blue because I just paid the bills, haha- I don't know. We got a good medical report this week. So thankful for that. Yet my mood seems to be staying low along with my motivation for photography and this blog. The blog seems to be mostly just for me these days- and I don't have anything new to record here. So what's the point? Life is so busy. I am so behind- seems like I conquer very little and instead, do many things halfway. I'm praying about what to let go of. And once again, wishing I was somehow more efficient.
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