Leather and Lace-framed

I got a frame for my mom's "Leather and Lace" photo.  I tried out the stickers for a title and they looked horrible! I kinda thought they would.  I love the frame I got at Michaels.  Such a nice mat.  My only complaint is that the cream mat makes the lace look cream.  In actuality, the lace is a very soft yellow.  I liked the yellow with the brown and the blue in the background.  I wish the image could have held onto that color.  I ended up getting a name plate from a trophy shop and it was the perfect addition.

 I took this photo to meet my challenge of "Illustrate a Song Title" and I knew all along I would give it to my mom since she loves Stevie Nicks and "Leather and Lace."  But, in addition to being glad I have this gift for my mom---I just love this photo.  It is deeply moving to me- with the worn, masculine leather, paired with the delicate, feminine lace.  Such a beautiful balance that can easily move me to tears at this point.

This photo is one of the few times I can say that I actually got what I was after.  I had an image and an emotion in my head.  Props, place, time, lighting- it all came together sort of miraculously! I see in this frame, what I felt in my heart,what I imagined in my mind.  It is very satisfying. :) I hope my mom enjoys it- though I am pleased, regardless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEYUXnPeFsM

I couldn't get around the glare on the glass- it looks better in person
16x20
 frame 20x24

"Home"

Nikki is a relative that lived with us during her teen years.  She is now in her early 20s and lives out of state on an army base with her husband and children.  She was visiting us in December and loved the black and white barn pictures in my bathroom.  More recently, she commented on the black and white "rain" photo I put on facebook.  She asked me for a black and white photo she could print on canvas for her bedroom.  As I talked to her more about it, asking what exactly she was looking for- she mentioned she didn't really care.. she just thought it would be so neat to have a piece of "home" in her home.  So, I looked through stuff I have taken, and though I like this shot better in color, I thought it was one that would remind her of "home" and there was enough play of shadow and light to make a decent conversion to black and white.  I added a text box with a quote.  She loves it. :)  It is rewarding to be able to give it.  Here it is:

the latest

I was asked Saturday morning to take some professional pictures for one of our contractor friends.  They offered to hire me, but seriously? No.
I smiled and agreed to the request, wanting to help out these great people.  But inside-- turmoil.  The fact that it was a professional thing rather than creative took some of the ache away.  Yet- I found myself still wondering if I could do it and wondering what it might cost emotionally.

Maybe it's going to be easy.  Though, for the analysis of it, the timing was pretty bad.  Friday night I seemed to hit a wall.  All the busy work of so many birthdays and special occasions, combined with going out of town, combined with all the emotion that seems to fly in out of nowhere and attach itself to all these events....it all added up.  Friday night about 10 pm I realized I had gone too far.  Too little sleep, too much emotion not processed, too many thoughts in my head.   The pain was so intense I wanted to scream or run.  Maybe both. The problem was I had a little boy with a birthday and 4 awake boys in my living room.  There was no escape. :) Thankfully, I was so exhausted that sleep finally came.  But, Saturday morning I was still trying to sort through all that rawness and then came the photography request and I felt my heart squeeze with pain.  So weird how it is connected like that.  Even weirder (if that's a word)- is that sometimes I think I can almost pick up my camera.  Like, I'm so close and my rational self says, "What's the big deal?! Do it!" And then, sometimes within an hour of that blissful lack of pain, those moments of confidence and rest- BOOM.  The weight and hurt of so many things tumble back in.  It's been catching me at the strangest, most unanticipated times.

A person at church said to me, "Dawn, keep taking those pictures."  I was touched by the encouragement but could only respond with, "I can't right now."  I think the biggest spiritual lesson for me these days is patience.  It applies to every area of my life.  And it applies to this photography stuff, and to the pain.  I want it to go away. NOW. But, I have to endure it and I need to be patient.  I yearn to be more patient in all things. So often, I need to remind myself to say, "Ok, Lord.  You have left it here for a good purpose.  I trust you."

One day, there will be healing and I don't think this hiatus is permanent.  I think it is a season.

Guitar print

I got my guitar print from the lab today. The linen texture plus the frame I picked up the other day- I love it.  The kids loved it too which is always such a sweet bonus. :) They truly are among my most avid supporters. What a gift.

My mom's birthday is in August so I finally got around to printing that Leather and Lace photo- in a 16x20. It's so cool to see it magnified! Every texture in the lace is evident and little bits of worn leather. I want to find a frame that has a mat and on the mat i plan to title it with some stickers or rub on letters. Hopefully it won't look cheesy....


I printed that one from Costco- but I ordered another through my lab. I ordered a 16x20 of the guitar picture to hang next to the piano- I've been needing something for years. I got a frame for it yesterday w a Half off coupon for Aaron Brothers. I hope the frame works to compliment it. I'm interested to see the difference in the prints. I got a linen texture on the guitar print.

Photography Journey

It goes deep.  Photography, for me, has never been just a hobby- like golf or something.  Maybe that's why after I registered for that first class I set my phone down, climbed up on my bed, and cried pretty hard for a while?

I have been praying about what  I should do.  I am scared to say that I am done with photography- scared of losing that little expressive, fun part of my life..scared too that I might be losing time if I need this to provide for myself in the future.  Yet, when I try to imagine walking over to my camera, picking it up, and going out to creatively, boldly, adventurously take pictures of something- I just can't.  Other people's photography still reaches me.  Mine still connects with me, too.  I just don't have what it takes to reach out and do it right now.  I don't want to be vulnerable and open in that way anymore.  That probably sounds dumb to everyone but me-- I can't think of another way to explain it.

 I go through each day feeling God's grace in my life.  I have an appetite most of the time.  There are moments of laughter and deep gratitude for the blessings in my life- complete thankfulness for my salvation, redemption, sanctification.  I am praying to understand joy more fully.  I don't understand how that part really works.  I trust God's plans.  I believe He is fully right to move in any way He chooses.  He has given me so many gifts and protection throughout my life that I am grateful for- through and through.  But for right now- for this season- my heart is shattered. Much of the time, pain seems to radiate, pulsate from my chest and spread throughout.

I fail at trying to explain this in a non-emotional, logical kind of way.  Bottom line is- unless I am shooting to intentionally express pain in the image- I can't take pictures with a broken heart.  I am done for right now.  I trust the Lord to give me what I need, should photography be part of His plan for me someday.

Rain

This is an older photo that I took last fall on a rainy day.  Originally posted it in color- it had yellowish leaves and dark red deck behind it.  I never really loved it.  Last week my sister was asking for a certain photo so I came across this one and thought I should run it with some black and white edits- I liked it much better.  I posted it on facebook but want to also include it here- along with a quote from Henry David Thoreau that I like.  Thoreau was always my favorite in high school and college.. somehow I identified with that Walden Pond idea. :)

Some of my pleasantest hours were during the long rainstorms in the spring or fall, which confined me to the house for the afternoon as well as the forenoon, soothed by their ceaseless roar and pelting; when an early twilight ushered in a long evening in which many thoughts had time to take root and unfold themselves. ~Thoreau-Walden

One last rain poem I like:

How heavy fell the rain that day

From burdened clouds of mournful grey.

The torrent forced them stay their height-

Composure swayed by onerous might.

My skin wrung wet with icy chill

As mud embraced that sodden hill;

But mind of mine had elsewhere gone-

Twas clouds abandoned I was on.

The driving drops advanced their gears

To camouflage my sneaking tears-

Whence now did swell such floods of pain

To see me melt into this rain...

On equal bearing now were we:

This rain, myself, in harmony.

(author: Mark R Slaughter)